Our Chicago Escort Agency is Ready

Are you prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse?

Let’s Keep It Simple

  1. Know your Zombie.
  2. Plan
  3. Prepare

Knowing the zombies helps in defending yourself and getting rid of them. Are they the old fashioned zombies from “Night of the Living Dead”? – slow and just eventually die out – OR Voodoo zombies? They could kill you but at least they will not eat you – OR the new zombie’s ala Max Brooks. Those suckers are fast. If you are out of shape. Go to the gym now.

What is causing the zombies to rise? Nano-bots? Brain Parasites? Neurotoxins? Neurogenesis? Or The Real Rage Virus? (Human version if mad cow disease) I will never figure that one out. I will leave it to Brad Pitt.

Planning Is A Must

Without a plan you are doomed.

Where Are You Going?

The 20th floor of my apartment building is not going to cut it. Several escorts at our Agency are heading up North. Who are you going with?

What Are You Bringing?

You will need not only survival gear when you get to your destination but stuff along the way. WATER WATER WATER. Max Brooks says most people will not die from the Zombies but from lack of clean drinking water. Those little water purifiers are light and not expensive. One is a must in your “bug out” pack.

The Right Clothing

I will leave my Christian Loubautin’s at home and take the Reeboks. You can’t outrun Zombies in designer shoes. Although several of the escorts her have been known to run quite well in high heels when its cold outside and they are parked down the street.


Those MRE’s suck. I feel a newfound respect for our men and women in the Armed Forces. God those things are awful. But if you are really hungry anything will taste good. But not those things.


The Zombies are not the only threat. What about those poor suckers who did not heed the warnings and want your toilet paper? Give me a good old 12-gauge any day. But some of the girls here prefer Pepper spray or a stun gun.

 Our Chicago Escort Agency is Ready - Escorts Chicago

Are you prepared?

Now is the time to take a trip to Sam’s and stock up. Bring all those goodies to your destination of choice. Not going to do you any good on the 20th floor when the Zombies rise.

Make sure you have all you need in your “bug out” pack. Your trunk is a good place to store a few things you will need. Keep that gas tank full at all times. Water, Food, Purification kit, First Aid kit, Cash, Wet Wipes, and a Sleeping Bag. There are lots of sites online that offer you lists, ideas and links for your survival gear.

The only piece of advice we could all agree on at our Chicago Escort Agency was, DO NOT GO NEAR A HOSPITAL

And finally, few more words of wisdom from our escorts.

  1.  Be careful who you trust.
  2.  Stay in a group.
  3.  Do not stay in a populated area.
  4.  Forget material things.
  5.  Stay in shape.